You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
