so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize