I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
