New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
