I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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