there was a trapeze. enough said
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no you cant smoke seaweed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize