I wish I could teleport
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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