wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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