some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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