come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
