there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize