Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
