My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
