love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
