I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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