Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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