I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
