I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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