everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
