Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
