Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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