I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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