I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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