Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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