There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just gargled with NyQuil
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
