Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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