Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The ass gains better be worth it
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