Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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