my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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