How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize