Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
