I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize