cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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