I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
