I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
