weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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