i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All I want is dick and wine.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
