so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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