best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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