yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
