Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
