Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
