You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
