i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
