Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
