Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
