I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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