Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
