dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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