Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
