where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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