That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
