I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
