At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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