so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
