Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Alive.
So much puke
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
