I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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