people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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