Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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