White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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