you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
